Thursday, June 19, 2008

Mom's behavior influences dad's involvement with new baby

mom_withbaby.jpg

June 18th, 2008 @ 6:30am

Randall Jeppesen reporting

New research shows mothers play a big role in influencing how much dad takes part in caring for a new baby.

The Ohio State research published in this month's Journal of Family Psychology suggests new dads can easily lose self-confidence in their ability to take care of a child if the mother constantly nags or criticizes how the dad is caring for the child.

"Yes, I think there's something to mothers hoarding the care early on in life that really can send signals to dad that he's either not welcome or not competent to be involved,"

Brigham Young University family life Professor Alan Hawkins says if the father gets frustrated and limits his fathering role, it can frustrate the mother down the road when she wants him more involved.

Hawkins says good communication between couples can help, and if a mom has to have something done a her way, she should try to find dad other ways he can be involved with the child.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Ashlee's Dad Selling Baby Pictures While Ashlee Denies Pregnancy

Posted by Brett Singer

Are you SURE you're not pregnany, honey?Joe Simpson, father of Ashlee and Jessica, has often showed himself to be, shall we say, a bit off (that's him in the photo, looking at his daughter). But never let it be said that the man isn't willing to do anything to make a buck.

The latest news is that Joe is trying to sell pictures of Ashlee's baby for (say this in a Dr. Evil voice) One Million Dollars. Apparently Joe would take the pictures himself (which he would get paid extra for) and Ashlee would appear on the cover of whatever glossy is willing to pony up enough cash.

There are three problems here:

One, no one is buying. One editor says that the pics would be worth, "$60,000 maybe." Do you ever wonder where they get these dollar amounts? The anonymously quoted editor went on to call the timing of the proposed sale "suspicious," since Ashlee has a new album out next week (which, sadly, is not called "Acid Reflux"). The editor also said, "Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly." Nice.

Two, Ashlee hasn't confirmed that she is pregnant, and her fiancé, Pete Wentz, actively denies the rumor, saying, "This is all news to me." Since rock stars aren't necessarily known for their strong connection to reality, it's possible that Ashlee is indeed pregnant and that Wentz doesn't know. But I kinda doubt it.

Three, IT'S JUST CREEPY.

Joe, here's some free advice: the girls make enough money. You make enough money off of the girls. Don't try to sell photos of your daughter's baby before she officially announces that she's pregnant. Just relax and enjoy life. Oh, and maybe get Ashlee some singing lessons.

Monday, April 21, 2008

popular baby names for 2007

Top 10 baby boy names in the Capital Region for 2007

Based on Times Union birth announcements (not all hospitals are represented)

1. Jacob/Jakob

2. Logan

3. Nicholas/Nicolas/Nikolas

4. Alexander, Michael, Aiden/Ayden (tie)

5. Anthony

6. Christopher

7. Tyler, Ryan (tie)

8. Joseph

9. Joshua

10. Jack


Top 10 Boys' Names nationally for 2007

From BabyCenter.com

1. Aiden

2. Ethan

3. Jacob

4. Jayden

5. Caden

6. Noah

7. Jackson

8. Jack

9. Logan

10. Matthew


Top 10 Girls' Names in the Capital Region for 2007

Based on Times Union birth announcements (not all hospitals are represented)

1. Isabella

2. Emma

3. Olivia

4. Abigail/Abagail/other variations

5. Sophia/Sofia

6. Ava

7. Lily/Lilly

8. Emily/Emilie/Emilee

9. Elizabeth/Elisabeth

10. Chloe


Top 10 Girls' Names Nationally for 2007

From Babycenter.com

1. Sophia

2. Isabella

3. Emma

4. Madison

5. Ava

6. Addison

7. Hailey

8. Emily

9. Kaitlyn

10. Olivia


Unique baby names in the Capital Region for 2007

Based on Times Union birth announcements (not all hospitals represented)

Girls:

Summer Breeze

Patience

Mystic Storm

Meadow

Mahogany

Lyric

Luna

Goddess

Esmerelda

Annalore

Amerikiss Liberty

Dezyar

Unique

Boys:

Versace

Syre

Steele

Royal

Rainier

Primus

Ozzy

MarqDream

Linkin

Innocent

Butch

Axl Roze

Monday, April 14, 2008

Old views cast shadow on new dad

There’s a good bit of chatter these days about what some are calling “The Coming American Matriarchy.”

National Journal columnist Jonathan Rauch, drawing on census data, suggests that American women will soon outnumber men in top professions and enjoy increased earning power. This is largely because they will have had more years of formal education, a trend already established among Americans in their mid-20s to mid-30s.

This raises the question: Who will take care of their children? Will women continue to run themselves ragged trying to be boss at work, full-time caregiver at home and on call for either obligation day and night? Or will they look to their mates, who, should projections hold, may not be putting in as many hours at work as they?

If the latter, some things are going to have to change, not the least of which are women’s attitudes toward their men as parents. A male friend who has three children put it this way, “Women have a way of making a father feel like the paralegal to her lawyer.”

As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. Many of us mothers believe that we alone know what’s best for our kids. How could we not? Our babies are, quite literally, flesh of our flesh. They recognize our voice before the voice of any other. We are frequently the first to sense changes in their physiology or their emotions. Doesn’t that mean we always know what’s best for them?

In a word, no. A personal example: After my son Jeff was born, I spent early mornings with him before going off to my full-time job at the Post. Husband Carl, who got home several hours before I did, took care of the early-evening duties.

But I took back over as soon as I walked in the house. I bathed Jeff and played with him for before putting him to bed. And then he turned 2, at which point Carl insisted he learn to play by himself at night. “He’s had adults by his side all day,” Carl said. “He’s not too young to start learning what he’s capable of.”

Without his mother, who’d been away for most of the day? Clearly Carl didn’t know the first thing about attachment theory. This dispute flared up regularly for months until I began to observe Jeff learning to entertain himself very well without TV, video games or his mother – a skill that has served him well.

Of course, other things keep today’s fathers away from fathering. Their fathers, thinking it enough to be reliable heads of household and breadwinners, didn’t teach them the same things our mothers taught us about tending to our offspring. As a result, many fathers assume they don’t know diddly squat. (My husband is not one of those men, God bless him.) As men, they don’t like doing something they don’t excel at right away. So do we really need to tell them what temperature to heat the baby food? Would it kill Adam or Annie to eat their Gerber oatmeal cold – as long as they eat it?

None of this is easy. We’re talking about changing habits of thought that go back to the days when women tended children in caves while their mates were out catching game and fighting off intruders.

Now, women are leaving the cave in increasing numbers and some men get nervous thinking women may one day lead the pack. Could it be that as men tiptoe back into the cave, we women worry that they’ll eventually take over?

Such concerns are common, says Paula England, a Stanford University sociologist and co-editor of the book “Unmarried Couples With Children.”

Both women and men feel more comfortable, she says, when a mother assumes a traditional male role than when a father assumes a historically female role. “The men don’t know how to take (child raising) on, and the women don’t trust them to.”

Such tugs of territory cross income and racial lines. The Urban Institute recently brought together university researchers who, under different federal grants, have been following thousands of young children and their mostly low-income, unmarried parents in cities around the country. One might assume the fathers in these families have little to do with their children or have disappeared entirely, but that is not the case, said Ronald Mincy, a professor of social policy at Columbia University and a principal investigator in one of the studies. Even among the dads who live apart from mother and child, half spend some time regularly with their children.

Conflict between the men and their partners keeps many of the dads from staying fully engaged, according to researchers. Is that because they don’t want to have anything to do with their kids? Or are the mothers of their children keeping them away?

Sociologist England says “the answer is usually some messy in-between. The guys all have stories that ‘She won’t let me see them.’ But the women will say there were good reasons beyond child support. ‘I know he’s been involved with drugs,’ they’ll say. ‘Or, he used to say he’d come get our kid and not show up. My son got heartbroken and I don’t want to expose him to that anymore.’ ”

That children do better in and out of school when in regular contact with fathers is well established. What is not as well understood is what that father-child contact should look like. “Our research on child development is entirely too matri-focal,” Mincy said.

Mothers know intuitively why we are important to our kids, and research has expanded what we know. Perhaps if we understood better how valuable fathers are in ways similar to, and different from, our own, we would do more to make parenting a true partnership. It also wouldn’t hurt if both mothers and fathers realized how forgiving kids can be. Kids give parents enormous credit just for trying. Neither sex has to get it perfect.

Even dads who don’t make a lot of money know they are going to have to get in the game more deeply. Many, in fact, look forward to it, according to Alford Young Jr., a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. Young, who supervised a study of such men in Boston and Indianapolis, quoted from two of them at the Urban Institute.

“From what I’ve heard,” said a young man named Darnell, “fathers in the past were pretty much breadwinners and that was just about it. ... The father wasn’t back then ... as emotionally invested in the father-child relationship as they are now. ... It’s definitely going in the ... right direction, you know. Especially with women working more.”

Another subject, Brian, recalled friends coming over one time when his little daughter was living with him. He was braiding her hair.

“They like, ‘What you doing?’

“Ain’t nobody else going to do it. It’s all about being a daddy,” he responded. “I know I ain’t no punk. That’s what daddies do nowadays.”

If we mommies can let them.


Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Healthy tips can pave the way for those months of pregnancy

By Sally Watts

Women who are thinking about starting a family within the next few months, or even years, can do a lot now to prepare their bodies for pregnancy. Taking some extra steps and precautions beforehand can prevent problems during pregnancy and ensure that mother and baby have the best chance for a happy, healthy nine months.

As with most lifestyle choices today, there is an increasing "greening" trend in pre-pregnancy and prenatal care, so a woman has more choices than ever about how to care for herself during this time in her life.

Following are some general things for women to consider before attempting to conceive. Be sure to check with your personal physician for advice that's tailored to you and your needs.
Nutrition

Dr. Craig Koniver, owner of Primary Plus Family Medicine and founder of The Center for Organic Medicine in Charleston, says one of the issues he sees most with women of childbearing age is that they do not consume enough healthy fat.

"Fat has gotten a bad rap by the media, but healthy fats are extremely important to moms-to-be, nursing moms and everyone else, for that matter," says Koniver, who, as a father as well as a physician, takes a special interest in pre-pregnancy and prenatal wellness.

Healthy omega-3 fats can be found in fatty fish, such as salmon or sardines. (Koniver recommends the Web site www.gotmercury.org to determine which types of fish are safest to eat.) Omega-3 fats also are present in foods that contain flax. Koniver says that it's easier to keep up with omega-3 intake if women supplement their pre-pregnancy and pregnancy diets with fish oil and/or flaxseed oil. Koniver recommends even higher doses of omega-3 fats than are generally prescribed to help cancel out the effects of other fats in the diet.

Koniver also says it's critical that pre-pregnant women take a balanced multivitamin that contains folic acid, as well as other healthy minerals. Folic acid is vital to fetal development and guards against several congenital malformations. He also suggests selenium, a trace mineral crucial for proper immune system and thyroid function.

It is important for women considering pregnancy, and even all women of childbearing age, to take a prenatal multivitamin daily, Koniver says. "It is nearly impossible for anyone to eat such a well-rounded diet every single day to capture the necessary vitamins and minerals that are needed for proper biochemical functioning."

Koniver also recommends women consume as many organic fruits and vegetables as possible. Avoiding pesticides and fungicides will help maintain the delicate hormone balance during pregnancy, he says.

Another nutritional key before attempting to get pregnant is good hydration, which keeps all body systems running smoothly. During pregnancy, a woman's total blood volume increases by 20 percent or more, and hydration is critical in maintaining health. By getting used to drinking a lot of water now, women can continue the habit after conception. According to the March of Dimes, lack of proper hydration can trigger preterm contractions.
The March of Dimes also suggests women cut back on caffeine before they become pregnant, as caffeine has been linked to miscarriage in studies. Again, it's better to get the habits in place before the pregnancy begins so they're easier to follow once you conceive.


A good exercise regimen should be established before getting pregnant, which would make it easier and more natural to continue during pregnancy. Consult your doctor before beginning any exercise routine, and again after becoming pregnant.

It's important for women to feel strong and fit beforehand so they can handle the physical challenges of pregnancy and manage labor effectively. Koniver says he doesn't have any specific exercise recommendations or requirements for pre-pregnant and pregnant women, except that they choose an exercise regimen they truly enjoy so it will be easier to stick with it.
Exercise also can help control weight if needed. Ideally, pre-pregnant women should be within their healthy weight range. If that's not realistic, losing even 5 percent to 10 percent of total body weight can be beneficial.

Risks associated with pregnancy in obese women include pre-term labor, pre-eclampsia (elevated blood pressure during pregnancy), diabetes and gestational diabetes. According to the American Diabetes Association, gestational diabetes is more prevalent among women who are overweight, and there also is a link between gestational diabetes and increased likelihood or developing Type 2 diabetes in the future.

Women who are overweight should speak with their doctor about realistic ways to get their weight under control and minimize risks before attempting to conceive.
Medications

What about medications? What's OK to take during pregnancy? Women should work closely with their doctor and other medical caregivers to evaluate carefully all their medications to determine which ones are safe during pregnancy.

Ideally, the pre-pregnant body should be as "pristine" as possible in terms of medications and nutritional intake. However, some medications might be necessary for the mother's health.
Heidi Murkoff, author of "What to Expect When You're Expecting," says making the determination about medications and pregnancy is not always clear-cut, as in the case with antidepressant drugs. Women who are taking antidepressants should sit down with their doctor and have a frank discussion about their medications, including specific risks and mental history. For some women, going off antidepressants before becoming pregnant can pose an even greater risk of harm to themselves or to their baby if the depression worsens or turns into postpartum depression after delivery.
Checkups and care

Before planning a baby, women should schedule a thorough checkup with their primary care physician and/or OB/GYN. Doctors can make recommendations based on medical history, age, weight and other relevant factors.

Many women don't know that a thorough dental cleaning and checkup are in order before trying to conceive. Aleka Thorvalson, a Charleston nutritional consultant, says oral health has a direct effect on body health. There is a strong scientific study link between even minor gum disease and the risk of pre-term labor. Additionally, Thorvalson says, X-rays should be avoided during pregnancy, so it's best to get to the dentist before attempting to conceive.

Women can also consider massage and relaxation treatments before pregnancy. Paige Bickar, a licensed massage therapist who offers fertility massage and pregnancy massage, helps women get ready for pregnancy with reflexology, acupressure and cranial sacral techniques. She says the field is fairly new, but is evolving quickly as an alternative to fertility clinics that sometimes rely heavily on hormone intake.

Pregnancy massage is available at several Lowcountry day spas.
Sally Watts is a Charleston freelance writer. E-mail her at sidlesup@yahoo.com.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Pamperers

Article Tools Sponsored By
Published: April 6, 2008

Before a baby shower for the birth of my son last year, friends insisted I had to register for gifts, and enlisted my mother to escort me to Buy Buy Baby — two floors of everything you need for baby and a whole lot more you probably didn’t know needed to exist. My mother, a child of the Depression, held her tongue while I pored over the store’s list of must-buy products that she had somehow managed to do without while raising three children. We had spent 20 minutes trying to discern the difference between models of Diaper Genies when I came upon the Boppy Tummy Time pillow — which you apparently need in addition to the Boppy breast-feeding pillow, even though both are half-moon-shaped pieces of foam virtually indistinguishable from each other — and my mother began to giggle. We left without registering.

As Pamela Paul chronicles in her occasionally frightening account, “Parenting, Inc.,” my generation of parents has fallen into the grips of Big Baby. Pushed by a host of factors — the guilt and exhaustion of working parents, the dispersion of family networks that once passed knowledge from generation to generation, the pressure of admissions from preschool to college, and a culture that worships all things celebrity (including its offspring) — we are intimidated or bamboozled into buying all sorts of goods and services that we not only don’t need, but that may harm our children. Slaves to legions of professional advisers and predatory entrepreneurs, we are rendered unable to recall the advice Dr. Spock issued our parents: Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

Paul has tapped a real concern. An entire industry preys on parental anxiety, and succumbing to it, we risk raising children who don’t know what to do with “free” time and who will measure their value by what they can buy. Most parents will recognize a bit of themselves in Paul’s introductory complaint: “No matter what I do, someone else seems to be doing enviably more or improbably less, and either way, their child and family seem all the better for it.”

It’s not just the $800 strollers and fetal-education gizmos of her subtitle. It’s inventions like the Splash Shield to keep bath water in the tub or the TP Saver to foil curious hands before they undo the entire roll of toilet paper. There are baby “faires” to rival auto shows in convention centers around America and children’s country clubs in Manhattan, styled by the people who design the upscale Equinox Fitness Clubs, where children’s blouses sell for $380 and tots learn that it’s best to be exclusive when choosing playmates. (Just when I thought Paul might be reaching a bit, the PoshTots catalog arrived, offering a two-story Tumble Outpost for $122,730 — that is not a misprint — featuring a wraparound ramp, a tube slide and, presumably, at that price, a six-burner Viking range and water views.) Clearly, there’s a baby born to a rich sucker every minute.

Paul, the author of books on the pornography industry and “starter marriages,” includes horrifying quotations from marketers. “Everything we do is academic, even for toddlers and babies,” boasts one producer of computer software for children under 2. “There’s nothing in there that’s just purely for fun.” My competitive anxiety surged when I read Paul’s descriptions of the educational videos and software many parents buy, and it shot positively through the roof after reading the testimonials from those who insist that the “Your Baby Can Read!” videos allowed their child to read by age 1. But Paul nicely dismantles the claims of the “edutainment” industry, exposing the videos as little more than digital baby sitters. (Cancel my order!) Babies, one expert notes, simply filter out a lot of the stimulus from educational toys.

Paul tries to lead us out of the catastrophization of childhood but too often plays right into it. “It may sound like a leap to go from baby toys to the death of democracy, but it’s a valid concern,” she approvingly quotes a child advocate saying. “A democratic populace relies on people who know how to think critically, who are willing and able to take action.” She overreaches with statements like “Any woman worth the cover price of InStyle fantasizes about an array of diaper bags to suit various outfits and occasions.” Well, no. And, as she notes, the No. 1 registered-for item at Amazon’s baby store is diapers.

Paul is right that for some parents, children have become status symbols. “Three is the new two when it comes to having kids,” a Manhattan preschool admissions adviser tells her. (Or, as my sister-in-law, an Upper East Side obstetrician, says, “Three is the new Hummer.”)

Paul also correctly notes that the frenzy she chronicles is most acute in New York City, where she lives. But she strains when she argues it exists beyond the coasts and in small-town America, and then identifies these places as Newton, Mass.; Bethesda, Md.; Falls Church, Va.; and New Canaan, Conn. — hardly Peoria, where the median price of a house is less than that PoshTots Tumble Outpost. And she backs her case with poll and survey results that convey a breezy certainty, but on reflection can seem a little thin. One online survey of mothers, she tells us, found that “18 percent wanted to spend less time doing housework and more time with their children.” Only 18 percent?

Paul says she talked to parents, but I would have liked to hear more of their voices and less from the news stories and experts she quotes extensively. My guess is that most parents would share my panic in the face of Buy Buy Baby and then discover, as I did, that even the product that friends insist you must have is actually an encumbrance (and that all your lovingly selected toys pale when the kid discovers he can pull the saucepans out of the cupboard).

Most of us feel the pangs and then figure out some happy medium. We hyperventilate, we overbuy, and then we get a talking-to by a friend, a mother or a pediatrician (like the one who told me after we’d spent hundreds of dollars on a changing table that the only place to change the baby was on the floor), and we self-correct. Paul herself seems to come to this conclusion as she describes working out her son’s feeding woes. She even finds some good in the parenting industry: Web sites have put experts and blogging parents at our fingertips, and make it “a snap” to buy toys from abroad or the latest baby gear from Amsterdam, Sweden and New Zealand.

I, sanctimommy, raise an eyebrow at that carbon footprint. But then, Paul frowns on my Stokke highchair. So see? Not all models look the same, but in the end, we each figure out a way to, yes, trust ourselves.

Kate Zernike is a national correspondent at The Times.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Hit toddlers sleep poorly


MOTHERS who shout or smack are more likely to have toddlers with sleep difficulties, but researchers do not know if the aggressive parenting style is a cause or effect of the problems.

A pediatrician from Melbourne's Royal Children's Hospital has crunched data from 4600 families to analyse whether the parenting method has any effect on sleep behaviour of children between the ages of one and three.

Harriet Hiscock found children are nearly twice as likely to have sleep problems that persist through the toddler years if their mother's parenting style is "hostile" rather than "warm".

"Hostile" was characterised by yelling or physical punishment such as smacking.

But her research has opened a chicken-and-egg debate because it is not clear whether the sleep problems are caused by the mothers' parenting, or if the frazzled mothers have resorted to shouting at their sleep-deprived, cranky children.

"It's always a cause-and-effect argument and you can't really conclude from this which one occurs first," Dr Hiscock said.

She found the biggest predictor of persistent sleep problems was a child's health. Babies and toddlers with chronic health problems such as asthma or autism were more than three times more likely to suffer sleep problems than healthy children.

The data from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children found some good news: 75% of children had no sleep problems at either of the two reporting times, at ages one and three.

Two-thirds of sleeping problems reported at age one were resolved by the second study, but about one in 20 of the children had sleep problems that persisted over the years.

About 10% of those who were sleeping beauties at the first point developed a sleep problem by the time they were three.

Mothers' parenting style was not a big factor in sleep problems at the age of one, but became an issue by the second study.

Fathers' parenting style was not as significant, but emerged as a factor for children who developed sleep disorders when they were older toddlers.

"Again, that might be reflecting that kids who do have a sleep problem, the parents become hostile rather than the parenting style affecting the sleep," Dr Hiscock said.

Families in financial stress were also more likely to have a child with sleep problems, as were families in which the mother suffered a serious mental illness.

Dr Hiscock said parents should ask for help from doctors or family support services if their babies or toddlers were not sleeping well and the family was suffering effects of sleep deprivation.

This story was found at: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2008/03/30/1206850707225.html

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

What to Buy Your Baby - Are Bugaboos Really Worth the Money?

By Charity Vogel - NEWS STAFF REPORTER


You may remember her controversial first book, “The Starter Marriage,” which outlined a trend among people in their 20s and 30s for short first marriages and quick divorces.


Or maybe her second book, “Pornified,” which looked at the proliferation of pornography in modern American society.


Now, Pamela Paul is once again taking on a taboo topic: how today’s young parents are raising their babies.


In “Parenting, Inc.,” due for release next Tuesday, freelance journalist Paul dissects what she sees as the over-commercialization of parenting and babyhood.


The subtitle of the book conveys her concerns: “How We Are Sold On $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers — and What It Means for Our Children.”


Reached at her home in New York City, where she was catching a break from caring for her two kids under age 3 — Beatrice and Tobias — Paul answered questions about her new book and admitted that she feels as vulnerable as any other parent to the consumer- driven baby marketplace.


“I’m just like any parent,” she admitted. “I’m living in this culture, in this economy. Like any parent, I’m vulnerable. And so yeah, we have an extra MacLaren stroller in our basement.
“But I can’t give it away,” she laughs, “because everybody wants only the latest model.”
But Paul did draw the line at Baby Einstein. Her kids don’t watch it.


With that, here are eight questions for the ever-provocative Paul:


Hollywood has gone baby-crazy. What have celebritiesdone to parenthood?
They’ve done to parenthood what they’ve done to every other sector of American lifestyles and consumer spending: that is, elevate it, amplify it, blow it out of control.


We live in such a celebrity-crazed culture — and not just celebrity-obsessed, but celebrity- consumer-obsessed. We want to buy like them. And now we want our babies to be like theirs, and we want to buy for our babies like they do. Even more so than us wanting to have the same Versace gown, we want Giorgio Armani cardigan sets for our newborn.


And we don’t feel as guilty about it, or as silly — because it’s not for us, it’s for our babies.


You write about how peoplenow spend $800 on upscalestrollers — formerly a$150 item —

without blinkingan eye. What spurredthis change?


Bugaboo happened — and they were brilliant. An executive at Bugaboo (an upscale stroller company founded in Holland in 1999) said to me, “Look, women are spending $300 on shoes these days, and they wear them for a year. Why wouldn’t they spend $800 on something their children are going to be sitting in for four years?” And he was right.


It used to be a stroller was just something you had to get, and you shoved it in your hallway, and you didn’t think much about it. People didn’t used to go stroller-shopping. It wasn’t a cause for major research. It’s just amazing the amount of thought that goes into this now.


And, you argue, for simpler baby products — like diaper bags — the same is true?


A diaper bag used to be truly utilitarian. You used a grocery bag, or a L.L. Bean tote. Now you need a special bag for the purpose of carrying diapers. You even probably have several diaper bags — one smaller one, one larger one, and so on.


And they’re pricey. In the same way that Coach has convinced women that a handbag is a one-season object, that’s now crossed over to diaper bags. And these bags can cost in the hundreds of dollars.


Babies-R-Us, and storeslike it, are packed floor-to-ceilingwith products of alldescriptions for today’s babies.Do parents need all this stuff?


Think about it this way: Benjamin Franklin grew up, and he did fine. How much of all that baby gear did his parents have? None. If you look at a history of toys, none of this even existed until recently.


How much do you really need? Not much. How much can you use — as in, find a use for? A lot. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of wanting all this stuff. It’s not evil. It can be great. But how much do you really need?”


So what’s wrong with battery-operated, computer-chip-loaded toys?


Studies show the simplest toys are the best ones. But every toy is electronic now, and it’s hugely depressing. And you can get trapped into buying them. Take activity tables — can you find one nowadays that just has things to manipulate, without noise and flashing lights? Not easily.
And, for kids, this all just ups their expectations of what a toy is supposed to be. If it doesn’t light up and make music, they’re bored.”


You write that many newparents now arrange theirlives around the schedules oftheir babies and toddlers,rather than the reverse.Why? And what’s wrongwith that?


I think we’ve become child-centric in such a way that it may not be in the best interests of our own children, or our own interests, or in the best interests of the family as a whole.
Kids raised like this get used to being in the spotlight, all the time, and they get used to being the center of attention. When they get into school — where they’re not the center of attention — it’s going to be harder for them. Parents are setting them up for problems.


Children have to learn to operate in a real world. Sometimes the grown-ups will have a conversation that they are not a part of, and they will have to sit and be quiet until it’s done. Not learning that skill early in life will be a very bad thing for them.


You analyze the BabyEinstein phenomenon andargue that today’s parentsare suckers for any product— especially DVD or computer-related — that promisesto make their babiessmarter. What’s going onhere?


If Baby Einstein had been named ‘Happy Baby TV Time,’ it would have just basically adequately described what’s going on with Baby Einstein. Which is: this teaches your child to sit still and watch TV.


Do you think our babies actually need to be trained to be couch potatoes?
There is nothing you can show your baby on TV that is going to be more educational than what you can show them in your backyard.


It’s similar with computer games. People say, we live in a computer age, I need to get my kids started with the Web so they can be technology-literate. I mean, what ? The computer for a 1-year-old is one thing only: a video game. So if you’re really excited to get your kid into gaming — then go ahead.


What can parents doabout this over-commercializationof childhood?


Abstain. And constantly remind yourself, every time you’re about to make an expenditure, “Why am I doing this? Is it to make life easier for me?” Pause before you do it. Look in your toy room. Just think, let me look at the toys I have on hand; when is the last time my child played with this toy?


Circulating toys is a great idea. Take some away, put them in the basement and attic, and then wait six months. Bring them out again and they will be like new toys.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Oh, baby! Look at you now in designer duds

While many adults find it difficult to dress fashionably, consider the plight of the toddler. There's nothing but applesauce-stained synthetic fabrics in their closets, and until those chubby fingers learn to fasten their own buttons, little girls are at the mercy of Mom.

Now, worse news: Suri Cruise has upped the ante.

Since she arrived on the celebrity circuit, Suri has been impeccably turned out in Armani, Juicy Couture, Ralph Lauren and Chloe. And rumor has it that Katie Holmes ordered a custom pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for $3,000.

Maybe that's why so many of her peers are drooling.

As the average age of parents gets higher, they seem to be spending more money on their children's clothes. Mothers who have never owned Burberry items are splurging on designer plaid kilts for their kids.

Cynthia Jamin, an actress who landed roles on "Friends" and "Don't Shoot Me," wanted even more glamor for her girls, Roxy, 6, and Lola, 4. Her TwirlyGirl creations are for funky princesses with $70 to burn.

The dresses reflect the new consumer mentality. "Every girl who wears a TwirlyGirl dress is unique," says Jamin. "I want the dress to be as extraordinary as she is."

Among TwirlyGirl's extraordinary fans: Brooke Shields' daughter Rowan, Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple and Heather Locklear's daughter Ava.

Beware of getting carried away, though, says Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers -- and What It Means for Our Children. Designer clothes come at too great a price if they keep kids from playing in the mud.

"The message is that what you wear is really important," says Paul. "I do think there are repercussions, and psychologists who study the effects of money and branding culture on kids notice the same thing. Certainly in an era in which second-graders are incredibly brand conscious -- insisting on $100-plus jeans -- starting this at age 2 is not a good idea."

So explore options. While it's possible to spend $625 on an Easter Sunday dress from Posh Tots.com, there's one way to cut down on clothing costs: rental. Gagas.com offers a selection of thousands of formal kids' clothes, so you can spend just $15.99 on a size 3T silk shantung dress, and keep it for three weeks.

It might be a good idea to start saving. It's hard enough keeping up with Suri's wardrobe -- but just wait until Jennifer Lopez's daughter Emme gets a little older.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Public Health Risk Seen as Parents Reject Vaccines


SAN DIEGO — In a highly unusual outbreak of measles here last month, 12 children fell ill; nine of them had not been inoculated against the virus because their parents objected, and the other three were too young to receive vaccines.

The parents who objected to their children being inoculated are among a small but growing number of vaccine skeptics in California and other states who take advantage of exemptions to laws requiring vaccinations for school-age children.

The exemptions have been growing since the early 1990s at a rate that many epidemiologists, public health officials and physicians find disturbing.

Children who are not vaccinated are unnecessarily susceptible to serious illnesses, they say, but also present a danger to children who have had their shots — the measles vaccine, for instance, is only 95 percent effective — and to those children too young to receive certain vaccines.

Measles, almost wholly eradicated in the United States through vaccines, can cause pneumonia and brain swelling, which in rare cases can lead to death. The measles outbreak here alarmed public health officials, sickened babies and sent one child to the hospital.

Every state allows medical exemptions, and most permit exemptions based on religious practices. But an increasing number of the vaccine skeptics belong to a different group — those who object to the inoculations because of their personal beliefs, often related to an unproven notion that vaccines are linked to autism and other disorders.

Twenty states, including California, Ohio and Texas, allow some kind of personal exemption, according to a tally by the Johns Hopkins University.

“I refuse to sacrifice my children for the greater good,” said Sybil Carlson, whose 6-year-old son goes to school with several of the children hit by the measles outbreak here. The boy is immunized against some diseases but not measles, Ms. Carlson said, while his 3-year-old brother has had just one shot, protecting him against meningitis.

“When I began to read about vaccines and how they work,” she said, “I saw medical studies, not given to use by the mainstream media, connecting them with neurological disorders, asthma and immunology.”

Ms. Carlson said she understood what was at stake. “I cannot deny that my child can put someone else at risk,” she said.

In 1991, less than 1 percent of children in the states with personal-belief exemptions went without vaccines based on the exemption; by 2004, the most recent year for which data are available, the percentage had increased to 2.54 percent, said Saad B. Omer, an assistant scientist at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.

While nationwide over 90 percent of children old enough to receive vaccines get them, the number of exemptions worries many health officials and experts. They say that vaccines have saved countless lives, and that personal-belief exemptions are potentially dangerous and bad public policy because they are not based on sound science.

“If you have clusters of exemptions, you increase the risk of exposing everyone in the community,” said Dr. Omer, who has extensively studied disease outbreaks and vaccines.

It is the absence, or close to it, of some illnesses in the United States that keep some parents from opting for the shots. Worldwide, 242,000 children a year die from measles, but it used to be near one million. The deaths have dropped because of vaccination, a 68 percent decrease from 2000 to 2006.

“The very success of immunizations has turned out to be an Achilles’ heel,” said Dr. Mark Sawyer, a pediatrician and infectious disease specialist at Rady Children’s Hospital in San Diego. “Most of these parents have never seen measles, and don’t realize it could be a bad disease so they turn their concerns to unfounded risks. They do not perceive risk of the disease but perceive risk of the vaccine.”

Dr. Sawyer and the vast majority of pediatricians believe strongly that vaccinations are the cornerstone of sound public health. Many doctors view the so-called exempters as parasites, of a sort, benefiting from the otherwise inoculated majority.

Most children get immunized to measles from a combined measles, mumps and rubella vaccine, a live virus.

While the picture of an unvaccinated child was once that of the offspring of poor and uneducated parents, “exempters” are often well educated and financially stable, and hold a host of like-minded child-rearing beliefs.

Vaccine skeptics provide differing explanations for their belief that vaccines may cause various illnesses and disorders, including autism.

Recent news that a federal vaccine court agreed to pay the family of an autistic child in Georgia who had an underlying mitochondrial disorder has led some skeptics to speculate that vaccines may worsen such conditions. Again, researchers say there is no evidence to support this thesis.

Alexandra Stewart, director of the Epidemiology of U.S. Immunization Law project at George Washington University, said many of these parents are influenced by misinformation obtained from Web sites that oppose vaccination.

“The autism debate has convinced these parents to refuse vaccines to the detriment of their own children as well as the community,” Ms. Stewart said.

While many parents meet deep resistance and even hostility from pediatricians when they choose to delay, space or reject vaccines, they are often able to find doctors who support their choice.

“I do think vaccines help with the public health and helping prevent the occasional fatality,” said Dr. Bob Sears, the son of the well-known child-care author by the same name, who practices pediatrics in San Clemente. Roughly 20 percent of his patients do not vaccinate, Dr. Sears said, and another 20 percent partially vaccinate.

“I don’t think it is such a critical public health issue that we should force parents into it,” Dr. Sears said. “I don’t lecture the parents or try to change their mind; if they flat out tell me they understand the risks I feel that I should be very respectful of their decision.”

Some parents of unvaccinated children go to great lengths to expose their children to childhood diseases to help them build natural immunities.

In the wake of last month’s outbreak, Linda Palmer considered sending her son to a measles party to contract the virus. Several years ago, the boy, now 12, contracted chicken pox when Ms. Palmer had him attend a gathering of children with that virus.

“It is a very common thing in the natural-health oriented world,” Ms. Palmer said of the parties.

She ultimately decided against the measles party for fear of having her son ostracized if he became ill.

In the late 1960s and 1970s, measles outbreaks in Alaska and California triggered strong enforcement of vaccine mandates by states, and exemption laws followed.

While the laws vary from state to state, most allow children to attend school if their parents agree to keep them home during any outbreak of illnesses prevented by vaccines. The easier it is to get an exemption — some states require barely any paperwork — the more people opt for them, according to Dr. Omer’s research, supported by other vaccine experts.

There are differences within states, too. There tend to be geographic clusters of “exempters” in certain counties or even neighborhoods or schools. According to a 2006 article in The Journal of The American Medical Association, exemption rates of 15 percent to 18 percent have been found in Ashland, Ore., and Vashon, Wash. In California, where the statewide rate is about 1.5 percent, some counties were as high as 10 percent to 19 percent of kindergartners.

In the San Diego measles outbreak, four of the cases, including the first one, came from a single charter school, and 17 children stayed home during the outbreak to avoid contracting the illness.

There is substantial evidence that communities with pools of unvaccinated clusters risk infecting a broad community that includes people who have been inoculated.Link

For instance, in a 2006 mumps outbreak in Iowa that infected 219 people, the majority of those sickened had been vaccinated. In a 2005 measles outbreak in Indiana, there were 34 cases, including six people who had been vaccinated.

Here in California, six pertussis outbreaks infected 24 people in 2007; only 2 of 24 were documented as having been appropriately immunized.

A surveillance program in the mid ’90s in Canada of infants and preschoolers found that cases of Hib fell to between 8 and 10 cases a year from 550 a year after a vaccine program was begun, and roughly half of those cases were among children whose vaccine failed.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Halle Berry Has a Baby Girl

16-Mar-2008
Written by: Louise Robina Happe

Berry gives birth to a girl.

Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday.

Berry and boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, announced their pregnancy last September when she was three months pregnant; the couple have been together since November 2005.

In an interview with Parade magazine, Berry happily exclaimed, “I’ve accomplished things I never thought I would. Now my sights are set on a different chapter in my life, which is motherhood. That’s the goal I have very clearly set for myself.”

According to People, Aubry has been reading up on fatherhood in baby manuals and parenting books – obviously excited on becoming a new Dad.

Berry, equally excited, recently gushed in Hello magazine, “I have someone who is putting a spark in my eye. I have never been in better physical and emotional shape, and I’m happy in my personal life – what a novel idea!”

After a “fantastic” pregnancy, as the actress put it, Berry’s rep confirmed that the new parents are “doing great!”

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Is Baby Einstein Good for Kids?


By Shelley Page - The Ottawa Citizen

Shelley Page on how modern parents plunked our youngsters in front of the DVD player, believing the videos were as indispensible as diapers and bottles. How could we have been so gullible?

If little Albert Einstein were in the school system today, what would be his fate? The future Nobel Prize-winner in physics didn't speak until he was three and struggled throughout school, especially in math.

He might have been labelled learning-disabled, spoonfed Ritalin and shuffled off to a special-needs class, written off as a lost cause. At least that's the prediction of child psychiatrist Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, co-author of Hyper-Parenting: Are you Hurting Your Child By Trying Too Hard? He suspects that in the modern world where parents expect their pre-schoolers to be prodigies, Einstein's slowness would have marginalized him.

Who knows if such labels would have hampered his special theory of relativity, published in 1905 at the positively geriatric age of 26?

Dr. Rosenfeld, then, finds it ironic that the No. 1 educational program for infants is named after the late-blooming physicist.

As anyone whose had a baby in the last decade knows, the Baby Einstein program, which makes DVDs for babies and toddlers aged three months to three years, promises to brighten our babies and sharpen their speech with multi-coloured musical feasts for the eyes and ears.

Many of us bought the hype that our babies' growing brains would soak up the stimulation of these video products and prime them for future brilliance. While we were washing dishes, taking showers, checking e-mail, our budding baby Einsteins were glued to a video, as indispensible as diapers and bottles. Surely Harvard and Yale would soon come calling. Or at least elementary school teachers sniffing out giftedness.

At one point, it was estimated one in three American children had watched a Baby Einstein video, or one of the competing products, such as So Smart and Brainy Baby and Baby Prodigy.

How could we have been so gullible?

Just last week, Baby Einstein stopped billing its videos as educational, following a formal complaint from a U.S. advocacy group that the Disney-owned company was making "false and deceptive" claims that it can give babies a leg up in learning.

The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood claimed victory after Baby Einstein quietly changed its website to remove assertions that its videos help develop cognitive skills in the very young.

The company removed promotional claims such as the one saying the Baby Wordsworth DVD "fosters the development of your toddler's speech and language skills" and Numbers Nursery will "help develop your baby's understanding of what numbers mean."

The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood filed a complaint almost two years ago with the U.S. Federal Trade Commission. The commission ruled in December that it would not take any enforcement action against Baby Einstein, under consumer protection laws, in light of changes the company had made to descriptions of its DVDs and a promise that it would "take appropriate steps to ensure that any future claims of educational and/or developmental benefit for children was adequately substantiated."

If any one of us had bothered to investigate what was clearly too good to be true, we might have bypassed the videos in favour of some one-on-one time with Junior. But ease and convenience are the mantra of the modern parent.

Baby education was launched by a 1993 study that purported to have found the "Mozart Effect." Researchers Gordon Shaw and Frances Rauscher at the University of California at Irvine had groups of college students listen to 10 minutes of a Mozart sonata, a relaxation tape, or silence, and then take a paper-folding-and-cutting test.

Those who listened to Mozart performed better than those who had not. The researchers concluded that listening to Mozart improved the students' short-term spatial thinking. This one study led well-meaning social engineers to apply the Mozart Effect to infants.

Soon mothers were playing Mozart to their pregnant bellies, and politicians were legislating classical music.

In 1998, Georgia Governor Zell Miller signed a bill to send to every home with a newborn in his state a Mozart CD to enhance the baby's mathematical ability. Gov. Don Sundquist of Tennessee made sure Tennessee newborns were receiving CDs, while the State of Florida ordered all state-funded childcare centres to play classical music. Baby Einstein and other baby education companies were quickly launched at the exact time that parents seemed to be determined to try anything to brighten their baby.

Only one problem: the Mozart Effect couldn't be duplicated.

Several dozen unsuccessful attempts have been made to replicate the findings in scientific settings. And in a 1999 television debate, researcher Rauscher -- who has said she stands by her work -- stated, "There's no scientific data suggesting that playing Mozart to babies is going to make them 'smarter.'"

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children younger than two should watch no TV at all, no matter how educational the content claims to be. And one recent study found such products might actually delay language development in toddlers.

Researchers at the University of Washington found that with every hour in a day spent watching baby DVDs and videos, infants learned six to eight fewer new words than babies who never watched the videos, with the strongest detrimental effect on babies eight to 16 months old. The results of this study have been strongly disputed by Disney. Its CEO complained about the methodology used to study the videos' effects on children, pointing out that only telephone surveys were used instead of actually observing the "interactive nature" of such products.

While I'm sure some parents sit beside Junior "interacting with them" while these so-called brain boosters are broadcast, I never did. I ran away and hid, usually with a phone stuck to my ear, desperate for adult conversation.

If I could convince myself that my kids were growing neurons while I talked on the phone, all the better. Although -- and this isn't just in hindsight -- I doubted the videos had much impact. My second child fell asleep the few times she watched them.

What I find curious is how so many of us fear that if our children aren't labelled "gifted," or possess some unique talent, by the time they're out of diapers, we've failed as parents. What's the hurry? I have to ask myself that question all the time. I never picked up a basketball until I was in Grade 9, and made my university team -- yet today, if I suspected one of my daughters was interested in the sport, I'd probably sign them up as soon as possible, who cares if they're five and nine? They'd probably hate the sport in no time.

Still, parents get sucked in by stories of midget math prodigies or the tennis success of the Williams sisters.

I have it on good authority at least one kid I know hates the pressure.

The other day I was snuggling with my five-year-old, and she said something characteristically funny about boobs and bowling balls. I told her that she cracked me up. Her response?

"Don't sign me up. Don't sign me up! I just want to be a jokester around home."

No kidding. She must have smelled clown camp in the near future.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Finally - A Pregnancy and Parenting Site for Expectant Fathers, New Dads and Single Parents

A new generation of dads wants to learn how to raise their babies, and they're using Web 2.0 to do it. These "Alterna-dads"- guys who still have messy hair and sport concert tees- want to get involved in the baby-raising game. These men are surpassing all previous cohorts of fathers and are actively seeking out pregnancy and parenting resources that can help them become the ultimate player in fatherhood. They're posting on YouTube, reading blogs, and scouring MySpace for tips on their 40-week long pregnancy journey.

For a generation of men that is equally sensitive and Internet addicted, it makes sense that Web 2.0 would replace Dr. Spock for pregnancy and parenting advice. The new tech boom coincides with a legion of soon-to-be father getting more involved in raising their babies. The reality is that it's now a world in which men talk about "their" pregnancy and consider themselves as active participants in the pregnancy process.

It is precisely this shift in fatherhood reality that inspired Nada Arnot to create TheFunkyStork.com in 2005.

"My husband wanted to do research when I was pregnant, but didn't find much that spoke to the GQ generation of men who were going to be dads," Nada Arnot says.

A recent re-design of TheFunkyStork.com has drawn tons of attention from "Alterna-dads" and "Alterna-moms," for that matter. TheFunkyStork.com has been expanded to also speak to the men who are now new fathers. Both expectant fathers and new dads can find a wealth of printable guy-friendly checklists, view YouTube videos and read a blog that is written by an LA-based father. Tech-savvy dads can also keep track of health issues, fashion trends, celebrity baby news and US government recalls by subscribing to an RSS Feed.

"Our dads still love the traditional articles we have for new and expectant fathers," Arnot notes, "but they are also gear-heads and are looking for additional online tools to learn about their impending fatherhood. TheFunkyStork.com offers them everything that they want and need to be active in pregnancy and parenthood."

About TheFunkyStork.com

TheFunkyStork.com is a pregnancy and parenting site for the modern expectant fathers, hip new dads and sexy single parents. Launched in October 2005 by the Urban Lion Corporation, the recently released build of the site features a blog, RSS feeds on important baby news, YouTube clips, articles for expectant dads and a "toolbox" for new fathers with helpful tips and information.

For More Information Contact: Nada Arnot at thefunkystork@yahoo.com.

Thefunkystork.com is a premium online pregnancy and parenting resource for the modern expectant father, hip new dad and sexy single parent.

Jennifer Lopez’s hubby has a new nickname - 'Burp Whisperer'!

Washington, Mar 14: New dad Marc Anthony is so smitten with new born twins that his wife Jennifer Lopez and her staff have nicknamed him the 'Burp Whisperer'.

Anthony is so hands-on with newborn Max and Emme that he has been volunteering to change their nappies and tend to the tots day and night.

"I'm so excited. I'm so hands-on with them that the household developed a nickname for me. They call me the Burp Whisperer," Contactmusic quoted Anthony, as saying.

Anthony, meanwhile, praises his superstar wife, claiming having twins was inevitable - because everything she touches turns to gold.

He added: "I told Jennifer, nothing you do is small. Everything you do it on such large scale. The first time you give birth, you give birth to twins." (ANI)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Toddler Development and Milestones

Overview

During the toddler years, your child will make huge strides physically, intellectually, and emotionally, whether it's learning how to make friends or potty training. Here's a look at what's to come.

Physical milestones

Throwing and kicking a ball (12 months)
Soon after her first birthday, your child will show interest in ball play -- first by throwing, then by kicking at age 2 (catching comes around age 3 to 4). To help her along:

  • For throwing, start by rolling a small soft ball back and forth between you, moving farther and farther apart with each pass. Soon, she'll want to throw it.
  • For kicking, show her how to use her feet instead of hands to roll a ball back and forth between the two of you.
  • For catching, have her roll it up a small incline to catch on the way down.

Pushing and pulling (12 to 18 months)
Once your child's a confident walker, he'll discover the joy of dragging or pushing toys along. And all the while he'll improve his coordination, since he'll be walking forward while occasionally looking back.

So offer him some pull or push toys to play with, or make your own by attaching a string to a toy car (make sure to supervise or limit the length of the cord to 12 inches to avoid a strangulation hazard).

Squatting (12 to 18 months)
Up to now, your baby has had to bend down to pick things up off the ground. But soon, she'll attempt to squat instead. To help her along:

  • When she starts to stoop over for an object, show her how to bend her knees to squat.
  • Let her practice. Line up a few small toys on the floor and have a "treasure hunt," where she has to go from one item to the next and pick them up - a perfect activity for cleanup time!

Climbing (12 to 24 months)
Toddlers climb up on the kitchen table (or your desk or the bed) for the obvious reason: Because it's there. Kids this age are trying to find a balance between risk and challenge. Of course, you know that the challenge of climbing up the bookcase isn't worth the risk, but the average toddler's ability to reason isn't in line with his physical prowess. Climbing is an important physical milestone, though. It'll help your child develop the coordination he needs to master skills like walking up steps. Ways you can help:

  • Provide safe opportunities for climbing. Toss sofa cushions or pillows on a carpeted floor, or let him loose at a toddler-friendly playground.
  • Anchor bookcases and other pieces of furniture to the wall, even if you think they're too heavy to topple. Clear shelves of things that could fall on him - or that could tempt him to climb.
  • Limit access. Keep chair seats pushed under the table, and take a closer look at the stove: Could your child get to it by climbing up shelves or cabinets?
  • Set up gates at the top and bottom of the stairs. It's the only way to keep your child from attempting that irresistible - but dangerous - ascent. To help your child learn to climb the stairs safely, practice together by taking him up and down while holding his hand.

Running (18 to 24 months)
Some kids seems to go from crawling to sprinting in two seconds flat. Others take more time. How come? Because kids fall a lot when learning to run, and some are just more willing to risk it. To encourage your child:

  • Play tag where falling won't hurt too much, such as on a grassy lawn or a sandy beach.
  • Chase your child - this is one time you can actually encourage him to run away from you! - and then switch and have him run after you.
  • Try racing, especially if older kids are willing to play along.

Potty training (24 to 36 months)
Potty training is one of the milestones parents look forward to the most - no more diapers! But keep in mind that the age when kids are ready for it varies widely. Signs that it may be time:

  • Your child peers down at her diapers, grabs them, or tries to pull them off when they're soiled; or she squats or crosses her legs when she needs to go. These actions show that she's mature enough to understand how her body works.
  • She shows an interest in things that are potty-related - wanting to watch you go to the bathroom or talking about pee-pee or poo-poo.

If these apply to your child, and she can get on and off the toilet and pull her pants down, then give toilet training a shot. Help her associate the about-to-go sensation with using the potty. As soon as you notice the usual signs, give a quick prompt like "Let's use the potty" as you guide her toward it. For more tips and strategies, check out our Potty Training guide.

Jumping (24 to 36 months)
Between 2 and 3 years, toddlers learn how to jump off low structures, and eventually how to jump from a standing position. Both of these skills require bilateral coordination, or the ability to use both sides of your body to do something different. How you can help:

Go curb hopping. Holding your child's hand, stand next to her on a curb or a low step and say, "One, two, three, jump!" then jump down simultaneously.

Practice leapfrogging as a prelude to jumping from a standing position, which is more difficult than hopping off a step. Show your child how to get down into a half-squat position and throw her arms up while she hops. Gradually she'll figure out how to jump from a standstill.


Psychological and emotional milestones

Prereading (12 to 36 months)
Most toddlers love storytime. It's a chance to snuggle with Mom or Dad, gaze at colorful pictures, and hear interesting sounds. But it's more than just a cozy activity - your child is also learning the earliest of reading skills, including:

  • How books work - we open them, the story is inside.
  • We read from left to right.
  • Books can tell a story.
  • Stories have a beginning and an end.
To encourage your child's love of reading, try to:
  • Read aloud.
  • Let your baby play with his books so he gets familiar with them.
  • Keep it brief. Little people have little attention spans, and ten minutes - even five minutes - is a long time.
  • Ask questions. Have him find simple things, like the baby's eyes or the pretty flower. Your goal is to bring what's happening on the page into an interaction between the two of you.
  • Follow your child's lead. If your tot grabs the book from you to explore it on his own, let him - just hold him on your lap and cuddle with him as he looks.

Gaining independence (18 to 36 months)
Most babies don't see themselves as entities separate from their parents, especially their mothers. This changes quickly sometime in the second year, when they become aware that they're individuals, and are more insistent on doing things on their own. Here's how to give your child room to grow:

Allow more time in your schedule for her to do things herself. If she wants to put on her own coat, shoes, etc., getting out of the house will take that much longer.

Include her in your chores. Let her hold the dustpan, or send her around with a rag to dust furniture legs.

Be patient. At first, letting your child use a fork or pull on his pants will drive you crazy. But let her try and don't step in.

Your toddler's growing independence comes with a stage that can, at times, be exasperating: She'll assert her independence by saying "no" all the time. Your impulse may be to show your child who's boss, but you'll have better luck if you:

Say yes to your little naysayer whenever you can - in other words, when it isn't unsafe, inconvenient, or unreasonable.

Be firm when necessary. When you have to get your way, do it as quickly, deliberately, and calmly as you can. Once you've physically put your toddler in her car seat, you can explain your reasoning in simple terms - you can tell her that it's dangerous to ride in a car without one.

Using simple sentences (18 to 24 months)
Ever since your child said his first coo, he's been working toward this moment: By combining gestures, isolated sounds, and words, he can now speak in simple two-word sentences. You're thrilled, and he's thrilled: Now you can have a conversation (of sorts)! Be patient, though - even though he knows certain words, he may not fully understand their meaning for a while. To encourage his talking:

  • Don't finish your toddler's sentences for him; doing so will only add to his frustration.
  • Remember that he'll still resort to crying when he's too tired, hungry, cranky, or overwhelmed to use words.
  • Give your child lots of opportunities to speak, especially if there are older kids in the house, too.
  • As your toddler becomes more verbal, make sure you model good speech rather than correct his pronunciation or his grammar. Children who are interrupted and corrected can feel like giving up.

Learning empathy (24 months)
At this age, toddlers may begin to make the first connections between their own feelings and behavior and those of other people. This is the foundation for interacting with others and building friendships. To help your child's developing empathy:

Don't try to fix it when he feels bad. Help your child learn to cope by identifying his emotions for him - whether he's sad because his favorite toy broke or someone else is crying - and reassure him that it's okay to feel the way he does.

Watch your own emotions. Don't be shy about telling your child when you're angry, sad, or disappointed - but make sure that you're not overreacting to the situation, which can make your child feel anxious or scared.


When she seems to be regressing

It can be disconcerting when a toddler appears to be regressing in some way. For instance, your chatterbox may suddenly do nothing but point and cry; your avid walker may reach up and demand to be carried. All of this is normal. Toddlers are developing so many skills they can become overwhelmed. What to do when your tot regresses:

  • Acknowledge her feelings. If she can't tell you what's bugging her, see if she can show you.
  • Rather than seeing it as good or bad, see it as a signal. When a child regresses, she's usually telling you that she needs comfort. Let her snuggle up with you, or read her a book. She'll likely behave like her normal self soon.

You might worry if your child is delayed in reaching a milestone. But some kids are simply late bloomers; some just master certain skills before others. However, if you're concerned, speak to your doctor.

Summary

A toddler is constantly learning how to do new things. Give yours loving support, and as often as possible provide a little freedom for him to strive for independence. And don't worry if he occasionally "unlearns" a skill - a little regression is just part of the process in the toddler years.